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i am freaking the fuck out

i can't chronicle this. i'm not in the right mental state

if you want to know where iszac is, she's dead. dead in the pile of ideas and things i've left behind.

well, she's not completely dead... just dormant.

but in my mind, dormant is another word for dead.

i don't think everything in my past was ok.

i yearn for a big reveal, i yearn to reveal to you all something i've been building up, but i can't.

i linger too much in my past, and my past was a huge mistake. a series of mistakes after mistakes and it makes me feel like shit.

it's hard to build things up when you're too busy breaking yourself down.

i'm primarily lingering over one thing though

buti can't chronicle this. i'm not in the right mental stateif you want to know wh

I'm ok. I'm ok. I don't want you to worry about me.

maybe that just makes more worrie. maybe i'm being too edgy?

there's a part of me that just wants to go back. to stop to stop and just maybe i'm going through this too fast maybe people will find me embarrassing like i do others. why

why have a grown a mindset of pain and judgement?

why am i to judge others? who am i to judge others? who am i?

who am i?

maybe i've been doing too much